This is a story about Brett’s hard-headedness as a youth. He’s absolutely not hard-headed anymore, just ask the referees at his last basketball game. This is a simple story, but as usual the kids come through with the funny.

The Constitution of the United States fits on six printed pages. After the 1,990 page health care bill last year, Congress decided that bills were getting too long and too complex. Subsequently, a bill was passed limiting the number of pages that would be allowed in any single bill, known as the ‘Bill-Ceiling Bill’.

“It makes perfect sense that bills are getting longer; it’s called inflation,” Senator Bushman explains. “I’m sick of hearing these constitution comparisons. A $100 hair cut cost like 5 cents back then.”

The Bill-Ceiling has already been raised 26 times since it was originally created, and congress is in session once again to discuss another Bill-Ceiling increase for the latest revision of the ‘Corporate Donor Stimulus Bill’ which outlines the requirements under which corporations may receive a waiver for the health care bill.

When asked whether or not the Bill-Ceiling has ever caused any bills to be shortened, or prevented their passage. Senator Bushman replied, “Of course not. What a ridiculous thing to prevent important legislation from passing. We pretty much have to pass a ‘Raise The Bill-Ceiling Bill’ before we pass any new bill. In fact, our last bill to raise the ceiling was over the limit previously established.”

When asked what the purpose of the bill was, considering that the average number of pages per bill has nearly doubled since the original ‘Bill Ceiling Bill’ passed, Bushman answered, ”…to show the American people we hear them, to show we are serious about this issue. We’ll pass 1,000 more bills on this issue if we have to. Money is no object.”

The guy who led to the killing of Osama Bin Laden was captured in Iraq, and waterboarded at a Gitmo-type CIA “black site” to obtain the intelligence. Is President Obama really against everything that led us to the world’s most wanted terrorist? Let’s examine further:

Obama’s not releasing Osama pics because he’s afraid it will “enflame the enemy,” yet he pushed for the release of the photos of our troops humiliating terrorist prisoners. OK, I get it. “Hey, terrorists, we sympathize with you…” then BAM! Seal Team 6 is in their bedroom.

Obama doesn’t want to use Osama’s death photo as a trophy, yet he recently approved the release of photos of U.S. flag-draped coffins of dead U.S. soldiers. Now I understand our Commander in Chief. “Hey, terrorists, look at these photos…” BAM!! Can you see straight with a bullet between the eyes?

Obama is currently investigating and prosecuting the U.S. intelligence officers who used enhanced interrogation techniques to obtain the information used to find Osama Bin Laden. Hmmm. This is a tough one. Oh, I see. What he hasn’t told us is that the trials will be held in the kitchen of Ayman al-Zawahiri. BAM!!

For those of you not familiar with unions, they are the collective bargaining groups that allow state workers to keep their jobs after they’ve become unproductive, or there’s no longer a legitimate need for them, all while increasing their salary year after year based on a predetermined schedule unrelated to their performance.

Now get back out there and continue your search for a job, taxpayer, and make sure you work hard so the state employees can get their yearly raises!

For those of you who already have a job, and it’s funded by taxpayers, and you’ve been there long enough to have tenure so you can’t be fired:  Pick up a sign!  Reagan would’ve fired you by now for leaving all those kids without teachers for so long (he fired all the air traffic controllers), but Obama’s in office now, so times have “changed.”

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/02/17/AR2011021705494.html

Available only until there are no more rich people to leach off of, and the middle class goes completely extinct leaving only extremely poor, and not the kind of poor where you can still afford an iPod.

Global Warming? Climate Change? Ha!  THIS is the real threat that we should be talking about in Copenhagen Cop 15. It’s music and noise that are causing natural disasters. We have proof. Don’t be a denier! Take a look at our graphs and statistics. Green jobs are useless. We need quiet jobs. Carbon credits? Useless, but you’ll soon be getting noise credits from Uncle Sam. Cap & Trade? We’ve got Mute & Swap. Make your friends aware! We’re running out of time!  There’s no Climategate here, we’re not going to hide the decline.

Gotcha Tea Party!! Gotcha!! Finally the $100,000 prize will be awarded for getting these racists on tape. This video is gonna be bigger than the Acorn videos, baby. Violent, racist tea party members caught on tape.

Congress is having a tough time selling health care to the people, so we thought we’d give them a little help.