Scientists at Harvard and UCSD have found a gene that contributes to liberal tendencies.

Professor Raymond at Harvard University suggested “We’re not sure yet what the implications of our research are, but we know that the first step to finding a cure is finding the cause.”

There have been mixed feelings about the discovery by liberals. One stating that “This is proof that we deserve special rights. We were born this way. Anyway, we don’t appreciate being called ‘liberal’. We prefer ‘socially dependent’.”

Conservatives argue that liberals already have special rights, such as food stamps, subsidized housing, unemployment, medicaid, and other social programs helping mainly liberals.

Other liberals are taking aim at the conservative advertising trying to push liberals to vote conservative. “Republican advertising should totally be illegal. It’s so offensive. Like we can just change our genes or something. We were born liberal. This is not a lifestyle choice. Quit trying to change us you bigots!”

Doctors have said that at some point in the near future testing can be done on a fetus to alert parents if their child is a carrier. Liberal politicians worry that testing children in the womb for the liberal gene may result in a decrease of their voter base through an increase of abortions of liberal babies. Democrats in Congress are taking steps to pre-emptively outlaw abortion nationwide.

Drug companies stand to become the biggest beneficiaries of the research. Merck has already begun development of a new drug for treatment, calling it, Personal Responsibilivoxx.

Scientists hold on to the Big Bang theory like a mother gorilla to her dead baby.  The emotional attachment is too great to overcome denial.

It has been said that when you come to a conclusion before you have all the facts, that you start to interpret the facts to fit your initial conclusion.  I was taught in school that redshift measurements showing that the Universe was expanding, combined with the cosmic microwave background radiation that permeates the Universe in all directions (like a dust cloud from an explosion), meant that a Big Bang started the Universe.

Well, we have better scientific instruments and methods now… and it’s not looking good for the Big Bang theory.  I think it’s time to downgrade from “theory” to “hypothesis” or to “wrong.”

Only recently have scientists discovered that the Universe is expanding at an increasing rate, not decreasing.  That’s not consistent with an explosion.  So… that’s wrong.  They’ve also recently discovered that there are huge areas of space that are missing the “dust cloud.”  That’s not consistent with an explosion.  So… that’s wrong.

Here’s a fun one:  It was thought that the Universe was limited in size, because the matter could have only gone so far from the initial point of explosion.  Well, each time we expand the vision of the Hubble Space Telescope we find billions more galaxies farther away than we expected.  Wow, that makes for some cool photos, but it’s another dagger in the heart of the Big Bang theory.

This one’s even more fun:  Scientists use “redshift” to determine the distance from us and the speed at which objects are moving away from us.  Well, they recently found a “distant quasar” with a large redshift that is interacting physically with a close galaxy.  Wait, so it’s redshift is way larger than the galaxy that’s right next to it?  So… it has a significantly larger redshift, but it’s not far away… or moving faster… so… the Universe may not even be expanding at all?  Uh……

Scientists are now in the process of an elaborate $6 billion test to mimic the Big Bang at an incredibly small scale by smashing particles together at nearly the speed of light.  Their goal is to find the “God Particle” that is missing from their incredibly long, mysterious even to themselves in parts, and arbitrary mathematical formulas which explain the Big Bang.  Members of the team admit that if they disprove the existance of this “God Particle” that it may be the most exciting discovery possible… that they’re completely wrong.  I have to give them credit for admitting the possibility.

Mother gorilla may hold on to her dead baby for a long time, and even replace him with a human baby she finds in a deserted treehouse, but mother gorilla… your baby is dead.  Well, at least perhaps mother gorilla is finally starting to realize it.

Oh, and you can let go of Global Warming now as well.  Prophets wrote a long time ago about the increase in calamities in our day.  Scientists have only started contemplating after the fact, and their explanations and predictions have been way off even in the short term.

Here’s to the future of science.  One where they stop following the cadaver dog with the bad nose, and start a new path towards the truth.  Scientists can accomplish some pretty amazing things.  They seem too anxious to disprove the existence of God, though, and that’s where they tend to stumble.  Perhaps the one thing they will never learn, is that they can’t disprove the existance of the greatest scientist of them all.

by John Roberts

In a time when millions of Americans are searching for answers to the seemingly overwhelming environmental, economic, and social problems, one man has found his answer. Science. “I realize that not everything in science is exactly…provable. Take evolution for instance. I don’t know how life started, but I believe that science will find the answer.”

Larry Reith grew up in a small town in New Hampshire. He says he has always been very devoted to science. “Ever since I was a little kid, my parents and I would read together. Books from Darwin, Freud, or other scientists. It’s like they had callings from a higher power. I felt in my heart that it was true.”

Recently science has been under fire because of inconsistencies in the results from scientific data regarding global climate change. “People make fun of me for it, but I believe that what they tell me is true, regardless of how often the data has to change to make what they say true.”

Science professor Stephenson from Yellow University commented, “If everyone were as faithful to science as Larry, we’d be making so much progress as a nation and as a world. Sure, we can’t explain everything now, and we have definitely been mistaken in the past, but we’re pretty sure that from this point forward, there will be no mistakes. You can place 100% faith in science. I believe that science is the “Creator” spoken about in the Constitution.”

Larry concludes, “other kids used to tease me because of my beliefs, but I always held strong. I know that if I just have faith, that soon science will find the answers to all of our questions, and the deniers will all pay when judgment day comes.”