Scientific Evidence-Conservative Ads Need To Stop
By John Roberts
Scientists at Harvard and UCSD have found a gene that contributes to liberal tendencies.
Professor Raymond at Harvard University suggested “We’re not sure yet what the implications of our research are, but we know that the first step to finding a cure is finding the cause.”
There have been mixed feelings about the discovery by liberals. One stating that “This is proof that we deserve special rights. We were born this way. Anyway, we don’t appreciate being called ‘liberal’. We prefer ‘socially dependent’.”
Conservatives argue that liberals already have special rights, such as food stamps, subsidized housing, unemployment, medicaid, and other social programs helping mainly liberals.
Other liberals are taking aim at the conservative advertising trying to push liberals to vote conservative. “Republican advertising should totally be illegal. It’s so offensive. Like we can just change our genes or something. We were born liberal. This is not a lifestyle choice. Quit trying to change us you bigots!”
Doctors have said that at some point in the near future testing can be done on a fetus to alert parents if their child is a carrier. Liberal politicians worry that testing children in the womb for the liberal gene may result in a decrease of their voter base through an increase of abortions of liberal babies. Democrats in Congress are taking steps to pre-emptively outlaw abortion nationwide.
Drug companies stand to become the biggest beneficiaries of the research. Merck has already begun development of a new drug for treatment, calling it, Personal Responsibilivoxx.
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Professor Raymond must be really smart since he went to Harvard!