Some Guy Holds Press Conference to Remind All “I’m the VP!”
Some Dude at Press Conference
By John Wharff
Earlier this week, employees of MSNBC were startled to find a man prepping in their green room, for what he assured them was a scheduled press conference. Upon further investigation, they realized that an entire hour of their programming indeed had been reserved by one “Joe B”.
“Really, it took us all by surprise,” said Robert Hughes, the man responsible for Monday’s programming schedule. “I am usually Johnny-on-the-spot with memorizing the most important upcoming events, but this flew way under my radar.”
“It was really weird,” stated Rachel Cavendish, a photojournalist for MSNBC. “One of our janitors came out of the green room talking about ‘some crazy dude’ who ‘swears he knows President Obama’.”
“We actually had to call all the way up the chain-of-command to our COO who told us, ‘I guess if he had the money to pay for the hour, put him on for the hour!’,” continued Hughes. “I called all the staff back to the office. They had actually all gone to a birthday lunch for one of our employees. They were pretty bummed to hear they had to come back.”
News Reporter David Roberts said, “I got a call about 10 minutes after the hour saying that some old guy had gathered everyone for a press conference. I guess none of the other news stations had really showed up yet, so they kind of begged me to come in. It was surreal. As other reporters and anchors slowly filtered in, this guy kept rambling on about how the ‘American people’ had ‘washed our memories clean of him’. It was just so strange. He was very eloquent though, like he had given speeches before or something. Maybe he’s an English professor that has won some awards?”
When asked what questions Roberts had asked the man he simply stated, “No one really asked any questions. When he opened the floor, most of us hadn’t really been paying attention. There were a few awkward moments of silence, then he yanked his mic off, and stormed off the stage.”
In the press conference, the man urged citizens to remember the Vice President and learn more about cabinet-level officers. He went on to brag about Obama’s accomplishments as President, and how nice Hillary Clinton is in person. He finished his statement by exclaiming “I’m the Vice President! I’m the VP! Don’t you know me?!”.
In it’s latest polls, MSNBC estimates roughly 2,000 people tuned in for the broadcast, and yet just over 6.5 million watched the re-run of the USA-Canada hockey game that aired directly after the press conference.
Although multiple attempts to identify the man have proven fruitless, a new lead may have been found. An anonymous letter sent from the White House to the U.S. Senate has launched an investigation into their records, stating “That man may, at one time or another, have been a senator or something.”
We here at Narf.TV will keep readers posted if the true identity of this man is ever discovered.
Short URL: http://www.narf.tv/?p=995
Posted by Wharff
on Sep 29 2010. Filed under Government.
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