Republicans Amazed at Free Health Care: A glimpse into the future

by John Roberts

True to their word, Democrats pass their health bill with un-rationed affordable health care for all Americans. Republicans in congress fought hard against the bill, saying health care would have to be rationed by government, and that it would be too expensive.

“Sarah Palin was on the crazy train. Death panels, rationed health care,” says Democrat Representative George Wilfong. “We wouldn’t do that to the American people.”

Many Republicans stand in awe at the brilliance of the bill. Republican Sandy Mayer says “I don’t know how they did it. I still can’t believe it. Government finally did something right.” If you believe that free, unlimited health care for every American is something right, then yes, the American government has done something right.

Many Americans stand in awe themselves, not quite sure how this is happening, but happy to participate. One person waiting in line for health care was asked.
“What are you doing here?”
“Waiting in line for my free nose job.”
“Who’s your doctor?”
“I don’t know. Obama’s doctors.”
“Where did Obama find all of these doctors?”
“I don’t know…his stash. Obama! Obama! Obama!”

Another American citizen waiting for health care added. “Yo no se de donde vienen los doctores. Soy de Guatemala.”

Republicans have their own suspicions as to where the doctors might be coming from. “Obama is cloning them. I can’t see any other way. It’s irresponsible and unethical.”

Democrats deny any use of cloning. “The truth of the matter is that there aren’t any new doctors. Through a program called ‘Caff for Doctors’, we provide free caffeinated energy drinks to all doctors. All we do is give each doctor in the country two 5 hour energy drinks per day. That amounts to 70 extra work hours per week, per doctor.”

When asked how the government can afford to pay the doctors for their extra time, Democratic leader Mitch Chafin explained. “Health care is a right for all Americans. It just so happens that doctors provide that right. You shouldn’t have to be paid to allow Americans their rights. You should go to jail for treason if you deny them their rights.”

Most Americans don’t know or care why their health care is now unlimited and free. They’re just happy they get it. Aren’t we all.

Short URL: http://www.narf.tv/?p=217

Posted by John on Jan 5 2010. Filed under Health. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.