Health Watch: The Santa Virus
by John Wharff
If you have read a newspaper or turned on the news lately, you have noticed that health care is one of the most heavily debated topics of the current administration. Some are looking for small changes, making it easier for citizens to get the proper amount of care. Others are calling for a complete overhaul of the system itself, moving into a more socialistic practice. Helping to fuel the fire is the sudden and devastating onset of the H1N1 virus, or Swine Flu. Starting as a small epidemic in early spring of 2009, it hit the world hard during flu season. And with the onset of the holidays, we have a much more serious illness on our hands.
Each year, as we gather into groups of family and loved ones, a silent sick comes creeping up on us. The latest virus, the JOSN1 (for Jolly Old Saint Nick) strain of the flu, has had severe and far-reaching effects. It seems that nearly 65% of the nations workforce has taken 1 or more sick days following the end-of-the-year celebrations, not accounting for tardiness caused by malfunctioning alarm clocks (nearly 50% of alarm clocks, even those received brand new on Christmas day, malfunction in the work days following the 25th of December). Workplaces are almost desolate in the aftermath of this quick-acting ailment. Also, schools are closed for the majority of the season, in anticipation of JOSN1′s effects.
If you have not heard anything about this bug, don’t feel bad. Most people have not heard of the Santa Virus, and for good reason. It seems that it carries with it a wide range of symptoms, both positive and negative. Here’s a quick list to help you and your loved ones:
- Laziness
- Drowsiness
- Feelings of Nostalgia
- Strong Desire to Help Others
- Sudden Hunger for Junk Food
- Stomach Ache
There is a way to protect yourself and your families. Along with the basic practices during the flu season (hand washing, good hygienic practices, etc.) you can take a few extra steps:
- Avoid parties where people who already have JOSN1 will be.
- Wash the dishes used for milk and cookies well before reusing them.
- Drink plenty of fluids, especially those with Vitamin C.
Together, we can work towards stopping the spread of JOSN1, and avoid the work shortages that always ensue. Make sure to stay away from those already sick, and if you start to experience any JOSN1 symptoms, seek the advice of your medical care provider.
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